My human pal Kelley wanted to skydive. My assistant Di had always wanted to do a freefall parachute jump, since doing a static line (solo jump where the cord is automatically pulled) back in 1985 - or TourGuideTed minus 10 years! Not because she enjoyed it so much as because statistically very few people go on to do a second jump. Besides, freefall and falling under a parachute are pretty different. Anyway, when Kelley found a Groupon 2 for 1 voucher, that was it.
Now, I realise I didn't have to go with them. In fact, there are those who think I'm insane to have done so, but I did and I have to say, it was pretty cool! It was a while ago now (nearly two years) and the outfit seem to have moved, but this is the write-up of my trip back then.
We were due to jump at about 11am so we arrived about 10.30am. We had to check in at Chalet Suzanne Inn and Restaurant, then we drove around to the airfield. The waiting area was pretty basic - a hangar with a few chairs and a fan to cool those waiting to jump to the right hand side and an area to the left where the professionals were repacking the parachutes. We waited. And waited. And waited some more.
Several days later...well, okay over an hour later, nearer two, the people ahead of us did their jumps and it was our turn to get kitted up. I had a few straps around me as well as being squished into the assistant's shirt. She wasn't sure how well it would hold - never having fallen out of the sky with a bear before (which is why she's holding a little tightly on the way down!) but I felt secure.
Eventually, I think somewhere around 2pm (this was supposed to be an 11am jump, don't forget) it was finally time to head out to the plane. A photographer would jump with Kelley and take extra pictures, but on ours there was just Tim and his hand-held camera. We're not very photogenic anyway (well, the assistant isn't!) Don't want to scare away my fans! We climbed on board and got as comfortable as we could...considering.
It took a very long time to climb to 10,500 feet. About twenty minutes or so. Was a beautiful, hot and sunny day so there was a great view. I could recognise Eagle Ridge Mall below, but not much more as I don't know the area that well.
Suddenly it was time. Fortunately, my pal Kelley was up first. As she and her attached instructor got in the doorway I started to really get nervous - was I really going to jump out of a perfectly good plane as Private Pilot's License holder Assistant Paul would say? In the blink of an eye (not that I can do that, being a teddy bear) she was gone! Yikes!
Our turn next. Di shuffled on her knees to the doorway, with instructor Tim right behind us. The closer we got the stronger the wind was blowing by the plane. Was it too late to back out? Well Di and I are not quitters so we figured yes, it was. We had to go after Kelley after all! So, we wiggled and shuffled and then we were sitting in the doorway.
A little bit of gravity, a lean forwards out out we goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You'll see better from the film but Di and I were pretty cool during our freefall descent - we knew we were being filmed so didn't want to scream or anything. Don't really think we were animated enough for Tim, who took the liberty of calming me down during our descent.
Oh, and if you are wondering why we appear to be standing rather than lying down, it's all about the angle of Tim's camera - just turn your head, or tip over your computer. I know I could turn the pics around, but they fit better this way!
As we fell, I reckon Di's face got more and more distorted (flappy face!) but she says my ears doubled in size! Cheek! I will admit it was an eye-opening descent though! After just a few minutes we were falling into a cloud - which looks awesome to do, but doesn't really feel like anything - and it was while we were inside the cloud that Tim pulled the rip cord and we stopped.
Again, it was a jolt, but Di didn't lose her grip on me (nor the straps) but it wasn't like in the movies when the person appears to shoot back up in the air - that's because you don't (the guy with the camera just doesn't stop when you do!) Once we were dangling on the parachute, Di was allowed to take off her safety specs - Tim didn't say why I didn't get specs.
It was during these last stages of the jump that we were able to check out our surroundings - at this stage the photos are right, as we are in a standing position at this point. That circular group of buildings below left - that's Eagle Ridge Mall! Right next to our jump site. It was a great view. By this point, Kelley - with the yellow chute - was coming into view to the folks on the ground.
It didn't take her long to get to the ground after that! I think it's safe to say she was glad to get there! Not something Kelley plans to do again.
We weren't far behind! The movie footage goes off here because apparently Tim only has TWO arms and he needed both of those to steer (where's Zaphod Beeblebrox when you need him?) But, a quick bit of instruction to Di how to land - grab your jeans and pull your legs into a sitting position and land on your bum!
She finally let go of me (eek!) pulled on the legs of her jeans and we were on the ground! Phew!
While Tim gathered up the parachute, Di and I headed for the hangar.
We'd agreed to buy a DVD of our fall (flight?) so we knew we had to wait while they create it, so, I thought I'd get you a few close ups in the plane to recreate what happened! We climbed in the plane and someone flew us up to 10,500 feet. Di and I started out facing the back of the plane, sitting on mats - as cargo, if you will.
Then as we came to jump, we shuffled around, Tim attached himself to us, we shuffled into the door way and stepped out off the step. Geronimoooooo!!!!!!! (Or whatever the modern politically correct version of that is.)
Rendering the movie took another age - so long that we eventually drove down to Dennys, had some pancakes and returned, finally picking up our DVD at about 4pm. So, they really lost a Ted for total disorganisation insofar as if you book folks for a jump, an hour out of their day is fine - two hours is acceptable. Six hours in a very hot hangar was too long to wait. It's not like they do this every day now is it? Oh.
Well, it was my first jump and I loved it. Would I do it again? Yep, although I'd probably get Di to ease off a bit on the holding (or not!)
As for Di, this was her second jump and she hadn't been too keen that time, but she's always wanted to do a second jump, particularly a freefall one. She liked this jump much better, though it probably helped she had someone to take care of the important stuff - finding the landing site, pulling the ripcord, that kinda stuff. Anyway, we had fun, we liked it.
Now, just in case you really think I'm all talk and my parachute jump was a figment of my very vivid imagination, I have a movie to show you. I edited it a bit (to save boring you and cut out as much of the assistant as I could!) and because of YouTube copyright threats I had to remove the music (so it's a bit dull), but this is me, falling out of an aeroplane! Your turn!
TourGuideTed
*Since my jump, it seems these guys have moved out to Plant City, Florida.
